


I Choose You

by marksdolphin



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Adorable, First Kiss, Fluff, JUST, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, kinda angsty i guess, mentioned robbie, really cute stuff, relationship start
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5210630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marksdolphin/pseuds/marksdolphin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark's having a bad time, and Gary's always willing to cheer his best friend up</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Choose You

**Author's Note:**

> From the Tumblr prompt "it sounds like you have someone who does choose you."

There are always some days where it seems like it's just you against the world. It feels as though you are collapsing under everything around you and every time you try to do anything about it, it gets worse. Mark was having a lot of those days lately. He was having weeks where he made no progress with his new album, no matter how much he tried. The lyrics weren't there and neither were the notes, and the only inspiration he had was away with his new musical. He didn't know why it was the case, but Gary always seemed to inspire him to write and, not only that, Gary always seemed to inspire him to write _well_.

Unfortunately, Gary was the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Sure, he was only a phone call away but that required Mark to judge his timing perfectly, and consider time zones in that, because his friend was busy and five hours behind himself. Part of Mark was happy that Gary was as successful as he is. Actually, all of Mark was happy for Gary and equally proud of him. He just couldn't help, however, wishing that his success meant something other than him having to be out of the UK all the time. 

Mark's position wasn't improved by his loneliness beyond Gary. Other than his best friend, Mark didn't really have anyone else. That may not have seemed to be the case if you took a look around him and you saw the Take That fans, and the rest of the band, and the friends from before the band, and his family and all the crew that he worked with. But they wouldn't see it from Mark's point of view. They wouldn’t see it from the point of view of the man who lay awake at two o’clock in the morning wondering where he went wrong. Wondering why he couldn’t write a song and wondering why he had nobody. Nobody he could trust with his life, and nobody he believed in and who believed in him. Nobody other than Gary. 

Mark spent many nights laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling that was clouded by the darkness above him. He spent many nights wondering if maybe, just maybe, somebody else out there was staring into the same darkness. Maybe he wasn’t alone. Maybe Gary was doing the same as him. But then his phone rang. That was unusual and that was what made this night stand out aside from the rest. Because for the first time ever, something broke through the darkness which engulfed him. 

“Hello?” Mark hadn’t bothered to check the caller ID, only glanced over at his alarm clock to check the time whilst he answered it. Who would be ringing him? More to the point, who would be ring him _at almost three o’clock in the morning_? 

On the other end, Gary couldn’t help but smile. Mark’s voice was rough, but he knew that he hadn’t just woken up. His voice was rough because he hadn’t spoken in a long time, and he hadn’t spoken in a long time because he’d spent the last twelve hours doing absolutely nothing other than missing Gary. Gary knew that. His smile was a sad one, one that would have said “c’mere, gis a hug, I won’t be going anywhere,” but unfortunately he wasn’t there with Mark to reassure him with any of those promises. He was a plane journey away, and that saddened him to the point where he risked ringing him at these early hours of the morning even with the knowledge that Mark may well (despite how unlikely it was) have been sleeping. 

“Hey, Marko,” it was only ten o’clock for Gary, so he had to make a conscious effort to sound less energetic than he was, and quieten his voice to allow for the silent room the other end of the line. He had no doubt, of course, that the other end of the line would be silent. It almost always was during their late night phone calls and Gary had quickly learned that his voice at its normal volume was not greatly appreciated in those situations. 

Mark didn’t reply. As soon as he heard Gary’s voice all tiredness escaped his body completely and he couldn’t stop a wide smile from forming on his lips. He fell in love with the sound of his friend’s light breathing from 3,000 miles away. That was something Mark had stopped denying now – he was in love with Gary. Although he’d never said it, he’d also never hid it and Gary didn’t seem too bothered – he either liked the idea of Mark loving him, or just didn’t want to break his best friend’s heart. Mark didn’t mind which of these it was, because either of them meant that Gary didn’t hate him for the way he felt.

“Did I wake you?” Gary knew the answer to that question, of course. He knew Mark hadn’t been sleeping and he knew he was the one to blame for that. He could take this opportunity to tell him how he felt. He could take the chance to tell him he loves him without the fear of face-to-face rejection, but Gary didn’t like the idea of not being able to see Mark’s reaction. So he’d wait. 

“No.” Sat up now, Mark ran his fingers through his hair and nervously fought to find something to speak about. It’s true what they say about your mind going blank when it comes to the one you love. He couldn’t think of anything beyond how he felt, and he tried to push those thoughts aside. Honestly, he hated those thoughts. They were thoughts he would never get a chance to act on, or find out if they were mutual – although he was almost positive that they weren’t, but still, _almost_ \- nor would he ever get the chance to even speak them. Not to Gary, or Robbie, or anybody else he was even remotely close to. For Mark, there was no greater fear than the fear of being rejected by those who loved him. 

“I didn’t think so, will you be at the airport tomorrow?” Gary bit his lip, hopefully. This was the real reason he had called, and he only knew what he wanted the answer to be. He knew what he hoped and he knew what he needed. Luckily for Gary, what he wanted, hoped and needed were all the same thing; Mark.

“Of course,” the other man had forgotten, but he didn’t even need to take a second to consider it when Gary asked the question. He was coming home. How could he have forgotten? That was an easy question to answer if you took a look at his life. It was upside down with pressure from the record label, and with his own inability to do his job, and whilst he’s so busy trying to do his job the rest of his life is falling to pieces and he had no time for anything. The worst thing about having no time for anything, was that his time wasn’t filled by anything beyond staring at a guitar and holding his pencil against a blank piece of paper in the hope that it would make him write something. It didn’t. It never did. 

“Great, I’ll be back at about six so you better get some sleep; I don’t want you being moody on me!” Gary joked, deciding not to point out how Mark had forgotten – it was obvious if you knew him as well as Gary did. Instead, he whispered his goodnights and put the phone down, thinking about how he couldn’t wait to see Mark again, and how he needed to check he was doing OK.

Mark set his alarm, although he doubted he would sleep enough to be woken up by it when the time came. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to miss Gary’s arrival which meant he had to be at the airport for five-thirty at the latest. So he lay there, thinking away the time and making no conscious effort neither to fall asleep nor to stay awake. In the end, the alarm only told him it was time to get out of bed.

Gary was nervous as he got off of the plane, making his way out of the airport as he thought about seeing Mark again. He wondered if Mark would be equally excited to see him, or if Mark was annoyed that he had to collect Gary from the airport. What if he’d upset him by expecting this from him?

Mark was nervous as he pulled up at the airport, looking at the doors and watching them with hope that every time they opened it would be Gary who walked through them. Eventually, he was right. Gary’s scarf wrapped twice around his neck, and his open coat swung either side of his body. He got stopped by a couple of people, and smiled as he signed albums for them and took pictures. Mark just wanted them to leave, he wanted Gary to be in the car with him finally and he wanted to take him home and he wanted to talk about how everything went and he wanted to tell him how much he loved him, but he waited. He would always wait.

“Sorry about that,” Gary breathed a sigh of relief that he was finally in the car after putting his suitcase in the boot and climbing into the passenger seat of the car. He put his seatbelt on and pressed his hand against the heater in the car, which Mark had turned on both in preparation for Gary and to warm himself up from the cool November air. 

“It’s fine, how was it?” Mark started the engine, trying to act like he hadn’t longed for this moment ever since Gary left, trying to act like it wasn’t taking all of his willpower to lean over and press his lips against Gary’s cheek as a small ‘welcome home.’ 

They spoke the entire journey back to Gary’s house. Their conversations were about everything and nothing and after Gary had told Mark everything about how the musical went, Gary decided to take a risk and ask Mark how his life had been whilst he was away. 

“Oh, just been working a lot really. Finishing up the album,” Mark lied. He’d been _trying_ to finish the new album, but he hadn’t actually done it. Still, he wasn’t going to tell Gary about his struggling and lack of success when it came to writing lately. 

“Been working with anyone? I know you said you were going to ask Rob if he wanted to write with you for your single,” Gary was suspicious. He knew Mark was lying to him, he always knew what that was the case but he wasn’t going to accuse him of anything because if Mark was lying to him it was because he didn’t want Gary to know the truth. But Gary wanted to know.

“Erm, no I didn’t, decided I’d do it on my own,” Mark was lying, again. He’d asked Robbie as soon as Gary left for New York, but Robbie was working with someone else and Mark had to say he was used to others being put before himself in other people’s lives. It didn’t bother him massively any more, he’s accepted that he just wasn’t anybody’s main priority and that nobody would choose him when it came down to anything.

“Mark, you don’t have to lie to me, y’know?” Gary looked at the worn out man who pulled up outside Gary’s front door, looking anywhere but towards the owner of the house. He knew him too well just from his voice, if he looked at him he’d be able to read him like an open book. Mark didn’t speak.

“Why didn’t you ask him?” 

“I did,” Mark’s response was only a mumble, and he really didn’t want to be having this conversation. Nevertheless, he knew lying would only drag it out more and he didn’t want that, either. 

“OK, so did he say no?” 

Mark nodded slightly, although that wasn’t exactly how it went down. It was slightly more Earth-shattering for Mark than him just saying no. Robbie hadn’t just said no, he’d had someone better to be working with. 

“That’s not the whole story. Come in, we’ll talk over a nice cuppa, yeah? It’s bloody freezing out here,” Gary rubbed his hands together to emphasise his point, and didn’t wait for Mark to agree as he started to get out of the car to let Mark out, too. He decided he’d leave his suitcase for now; he had more important things to worry about.

Inside, neither man spoke as Gary made their drinks and put them down on the dining room table. He went out of the room and left Mark there alone whilst he turned the heating on in a desperate attempt to warm both of them up and help them dry from their two minutes in the pouring rain. Tea wasn’t uncommon between Gary and Mark, and it was often the sign that they needed to talk, or that at least one of them wanted to talk. Usually, it was over cups of tea just like these that their wildest dreams were transformed into words exchanged between the pair, and where their biggest secrets and fears were spilled out onto the table before them. That was no different today. Gary had a way of making Mark feel so comfortable that he didn’t have to worry about anything he said and he knew that whatever it was Gary would be OK with it. Most of the time. It was over cups of tea just like these that Mark had almost expressed his feelings last time. Almost.

“Right, so what’s wrong?” Mark was tired. Really tired. He hadn’t slept properly for at least three nights and he could feel his eyes closing as he tried to comprehend the conversation that Gary was trying to have with him. 

“Nothing,” he ran his fingers through his fringe, trying to keep himself awake before deciding to take a sip of the tea which was actually far too hot to drink. He scrunched his face up, but said nothing, pretending that he hadn’t just scolded his mouth on the liquid. He never knew why he bothered pretending in front of Gary, because if the other man knew him far better than he could ever know himself and had already place a bottle of water in front of him. Mark silently drank the water, mumbling a thanks as he put it back down again.

“Please don’t lie to me, Marko,” Gary practically pleaded, his heart breaking slightly to see his friend in this state. Honestly, he could probably take a very good guess as to why Mark felt the way he did right now, but he wasn’t about to sit there and pretend he knew him better than he knew himself, no matter how true that might be.

“It’s shit OK, it all is,” Mark was being very vague, he was aware of that. He wasn’t, however, prepared to go into more detail about how his life was falling to pieces around him and how Gary was the only thing holding it all together. He just wasn’t going to do that.

“Do you feel like maybe being more specific?” Gary was trying desperately to fully understand what was going through his friend’s head right now. He held out his hand across the table, offering it for Mark to hold if he wanted to. Secretly, Gary wanted Mark to take his hand. He wanted to feel how it felt to have Mark’s fingers slip between his own subtly as they walked down the street with each other, the rest of the world completely oblivious to their feelings. But that wasn’t important right now. It didn’t matter what Gary wanted because it was Mark who sat opposite him, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall from the corners of his eyes.

“Why do you care?” Mark wanted to shout the words from the top of his lungs, but in reality they came out as nothing more than a small whisper which could barely struggle to make it to Gary’s ears. But it got there. And when it arrived, Gary froze. His back straightened up and he couldn’t help the hurt yet confused feeling that rushed through his body.

“What do you mean? I care because you’re my friend,” _and I really, really wish I could kiss you right now and just show you how much I care._ Gary thought it, but he didn’t say it. It would probably just hurt Mark more than he was already hurting if he let those words fall from his lips and the last thing he wanted to do was further upset the vulnerable man.

“None of the others do. They’re all my _friends_ and they don’t care. They’d always choose someone else,” Mark was ignoring Gary’s hand, despite desperately wanting to hold it. Desperately wanting to hold Gary close to him. Desperately wanting Gary to hold him. None of that was going to happen though, Mark had accepted. Because Gary was happy and he didn’t need Mark, right? Wrong.

“Shut up,” Gary didn’t want to listen to the way Mark spoke any more, but he didn’t want to be overly rude. He’d pushed his chair away from his table and now stood above the brunette with his hand on his shoulder. He urged Mark to stand up, and Mark didn’t resist. As soon as Mark stood up, his face was directly in front of Gary’s and the perfect way to quieten his friend came to him. He closed the miniscule gap between their lips, his hands finding Mark’s hips as he kissed him. He was nervous, very nervous, and that was made worse by the pause before Mark actually returned the action. When he did, however, Gary relaxed completely and let himself fall in love over and over again with the way the entire situation felt. 

Mark was in shock. It took him a few moments before he kissed Gary back, but when he did it felt like the only thing Mark knew how to do these days. It felt like the first thing he had got right in months, and it felt like the only thing he would be able to think about for years to come. It felt like every song he hadn’t written.

“Look at that, it seems you have someone who does choose you.”


End file.
